If It Isn’t One Thing, It’s often 10, Sometimes 12

Growing up, I used to hear old people say, Honey, if it ain’t one thing, it’s another. Heck, I can deal with one thing or another; it is the 10 or more things that all seemingly happen at the same time that I have problems with. 

For instance, I used to be a firm believer in the saying “age is nothing but a number.” That worked until the day I noticed a gray hair in the middle of my right eyebrow which had not been there the day before. 

Convincing myself that it was a cat hair—as both my fluffy gray and white cat and little orange tabby loved sleeping with my husband and me—I tried to pull the gray hair out. Immediately, it sprung back; it was not a cat hair. Grabbing a pair of tweezers, I yanked out the offending hair, only to notice there was also a gray one in the other eyebrow and another under my chin.

Using industrial-strength tweezers, I yanked out the chin hair. Imagine my surprise that a few weeks later, I noticed that it had returned. This time had it not only returned but with an entourage. All had now taken residence beneath my chin.

Problems—they do multiply. Take several summers ago. Instead of spending our vacation money on some exotic location like Aruba or Cancun, like my husband and I normally do, we decided to have the gutters replaced on our house.                           Full disclosure: I had discovered a long time ago that any honey-dos that you leave when you go on vacation, still remain upon your return—go figure!
 
All things considered, I should not have been surprised when the gutter job foreman knocked on the door to get his money, he mentioned that we might also want to consider having our roof replaced. Apparently, while fixing the gutters, he had noticed some soft spots on the roof in several places. 

Soft spots were places where squirrels, the weather, etc., had caused the wood under the shingles to rot. Foreman Rudy, who seemed much too nice to be the bearer of such continuously bad news, added that I might already have water damage in the attic. Oh, Joy!

In my mind’s eye, I saw my husband and me during the next torrential rainstorm, scurrying around catching leaks in every vessel we owned, as you see in the movies. So what’s a person to do except maybe cry, then pay for the new gutters? Then purchase a new roof and pray that nothing else turns gray, needs repairing or replacing anytime soon.

If It Isn’t One Thing, It’s often 10 or Sometimes 12.

Excerpt from Random Notes by Author Carol Gee
Military Veteran|Columnist|Motivational Speaker

For these and other great laughs, purchase your copy of Random Notes at Amazon.com and major online book retailers.

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